Chuck Norris

Ballpark Village 101

by on February 8, 2013 · 0 comments

With 47 custom shovels at the ready to commemorate the event, a small army of Burberry-clad townsfolk braved the chilly weather in downtown St Louis.  They gallantly stepped outside of their luxury automobiles long enough to break ground for the first phase of Ballpark Village (BPV).  While this day has been long in the making, [...]

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Not The News – Vol X

by on March 2, 2012 · 0 comments

2011 World Series MVP David Freese is actually Chuck Norris, and he’s a bad man.  After several viewers contacted us to report about some “irregularities” in the images of Freese shown on television, we naturally felt compelled to investigate.  After running several still shots through a complex digital filtering process involving both “copy” and “paste”, [...]

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He can hit a grand slam with nobody on base.  He once hit a ground-rule triple.  He made Chuck Norris cry during a game of rock-paper-scissors.  He calls his own balls and strikes, and nobody complains.  He signs huge contracts just to make his agent look good.  He once bruised Yadier Molina‘s ribs with a friendly [...]

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