Fun

Bring The $145M Ruckus

by on March 11, 2011 · 2 comments

Yeah, that’s right.  If you combine the Wu Tang Clan and my fantasy baseball team, you would have a $145M ruckus.  Why?  That’s just how I roll.  Check out my 25 draft picks, and you’ll understand why. Robinson Cano (2B) David Wright (3B) Ubaldo Jimenez (P) Buster Posey (C/1B) Jose Bautista (OF/3B) Mat Latos (P) Carlos Marmol (P) Corey Hart (OF) Nick [...]

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Posted in: Fantasy Sports,Fun

This post is dedicated to all the WAGs (Wives and Girlfriends) and HABs (Husbands and Boyfriends) who complain, gripe, and yell  constructively criticize their significant others for playing fantasy baseball.  It shouldn’t come to this.  There must be a better way.  Millions of people play fantasy sports.  It’s practically ubiquitous.  It’s so commonplace that I’m [...]

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Not The News – Vol V

by on March 8, 2011 · 2 comments

Since this is the 5th installment, I was going to try and make this one really epic.  It was going to be a truly monumental work of snark wrapped inside a thinly constructed flaky crust of sarcastic goodness.  Then I made myself a bit hungry.  I then realized that you can’t spell “epic” without “p i e”, and [...]

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I sincerely apologize to our 3 loyal readers for the delay in publishing this edition of “Not The News”, but there were some unavoidable delays outside of my control.  News of the Cubs basebrawl was not accompanied by any video evidence, so I had to work late into the night to track down at least [...]

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Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.  With that in mind, let’s hope that the M*A*S*H unit in Jupiter, Florida can patch Carp and Boggs back together without either one missing significant time.  I’m not actually all that familiar with the training staff, but I’m not above calling in Dr. “Hawkeye” Pierce, Winchester, [...]

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BERKMAN HOMERS IN FIRST SPRING TRAINING GAME – NEARLY STRIKES BALLOON! The most amazing part about this highlight shot is the big fat baseball landing just on the other side of the left-centerfield wall.  Awesome camera work!  Oh wait.  There wasn’t any coverage of the game at all, because apparently nobody thought the members of [...]

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As we’re nearing the 60% completion mark of the @STLDraftTB fantasy baseball draft, I’ve decided that now is a good time to sit down and evaluate my drafting strategy, assess my picks, and contemplate changes to my aforementioned strategy for the remaining rounds.  The complete guide that I published may be found here, but I’ve included [...]

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Posted in: Fantasy Sports,Fun

This piece was originally titled “World’s Worst 5×5 Fantasy League Baseball Guide for Spork Users“, but I determined that was decidely too pessimistic and catered to a very small audience (spork users).  It was also a ridiculously long title, so I abandoned it in favor of something a bit easier to remember.  Keep in mind [...]

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Play That Funky Music

by on February 25, 2011 · 4 comments

Before the Cardinals take the field for opening day, I thought I’d just give my suggestions on some walkup music options for some of the players.  The “walkup music” is the music that you hear as players are introduced for each at-bat, so some people know it as the “at-bat” music.  The music is usually [...]

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In case you haven’t read about it or heard from your best friend’s neighbor’s dog sitter, Jonny Gomes opened his big mouth.  Click here for the absurd details.  To make a short story even shorter, Gomes decided to celebrate the misery of others, and he opted to do so at the expense of Adam Wainwright.  In [...]

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