There are many tall tales and myths circulating about Matt Adams. I thought it necessary to set the record straight. I’ll begin by debunking some of the more ridiculous notions.
- Adams never played quarterback for the Colts under the alias “Peyton Manning”. He may or may not have done so as “Curtis Painter” or “Jim Sorgi”.
- He never played any games against or for the Harlem Globetrotters.
- He has never participated in a moon landing, although NASA will neither confirm nor deny his alleged involvement in an International Space Station incident involving a cosmonaut and a monkey.
- Adams has never pulled a truck out of a ditch using his teeth. Technically, it was mostly his arms doing the work.
- Contrary to popular belief, Adams was not the inspiration for the song “99 Problems”.
The truth may actually be stranger than fiction.
- Adams once ate at French Laundry, and Thomas Keller asked him to cook the fish.
- He once hit a wiffle ball 350 feet on a check swing.
- Adams was nearly voted off the Survivor island, but it was determined that it was actually HIS island.
- Adams once won a German spelling bee while giving all his answers in Latin.
- George Foreman renamed all his kids “Matt” after him.
- He knows Bo better than Bo knows Bo.
- Nike revived the slogan “Just Do It” and renamed it “Been There, Done That” in his honor.
- He found Bobby Fischer and Waldo in the same day.
- He once did the walk of shame accompanied by 2 cheerleaders and a symphonic band.
- His calendar has days that don’t end in “Y”.
- He can throw a perfect spiral for 35 yards in a windy day with a chainsaw.
- Adams once tipped a valet the whole car.
- He once wore a purple bowtie to a black tie event, and the other 400 guests changed as quickly as they could.
- Adams owns a small herd of unicorns that he raised since they were baby ducklings.
- He runs a 5.6 40 yard dash just as long as the man he’s carrying doesn’t drag his feet on the ground.
- He once wrote a best selling novel under the pen name “Anonymous”.
Follow gr33nazn on Twitter for more details about Matt Adams – The Most Interest Man In Cardinal Nation