Not The News – Vol XVI

by on October 17, 2012 · 0 comments


To celebrate the Cardinals making the playoffs that infamous person known by the singular name “She” was quoted on the topic of the team making the postseason.  Of course, many quotes have been attributed to “She” over the years, but this one makes more sense than some of the others.



Every single time the Braves fans started the Tomahawk Chop with the Tomahawk Chop Chant during the wild card postseason game I wanted to stab a furry woodland creature with a spork.  Then I realized that Honey Boo Boo just might epitomize everything wrong with people dishonoring Native Americans by turning a respected battle cry into a silly sports-related “cheer”.  Just imagine that little disheveled hellion doing the Tomahawk Chop and asking her momma to tell her the words again.  So clever.



First of all, I’d just like to point out that nothing is funny about Scutaro potentially being injured by a takeout slide at 2B.  I’m glad he’s alive and well.  The humor is the butt-hurt whining by fans who thought Holliday had any intent to hurt Scutaro.  Even more humorous is the people who should remember the Will Clark incident.  If it is good for the goose, then it’s good for the gander.  That said, I’m really looking forward to the Giants honoring Scutaro’s time in the bay area by holding a ceremony to rename Willie Mays Plaza to “Marco Scutaroad”.

After the man nearly sacrificed himself in the name of a double play he could not hope to complete, he deserves to be honored as the kings of old.  Nothing less than a viking funeral with a flaming boat in McCovey Cove will do.


Raul Ibanez has resembled Voldemort for years, and the resemblance has indeed been striking at times.  Though many have suspected some connection exists, nobody could confirm the connection.  Then TBS allowed the above image of the DH to surface during the first game of the ALDS.  It’s Raul Ibanezemort, and he does indeed moonlight as a playoff HR hitter for the Yankees.  He’s clutch, he’s menacing, and he’s the master of Unforgivable Curses.  Also, don’t speak the name, because it’s still “taboo”.

Motte – Professional ….hitter?

Sure, Motte was a catcher at one point in his career.  That was years ago, though.  When he actually walked to the plate during the penultimate game of the NLDS, it was for his first preseason plate appearance ever.  No wonder he was looking at the bat like it was a funnoodle.

Yay Barves

It took quite a bit of digging through old shoe boxes, but our crack research team here at PH8 finally turned up an Al Hrabosky baseball card from his days with the Braves.  Great stuff, even if the facial hair resembles a poodle having a seizure.

TIDBIT:  Technically, I’m not absolutely sure what version of “Not The News” this is.  The whole system of using letters to represent numbers that the Romans used escapes me, but it looks darn cool.  Also, bacon.  Since this edition is likely to be the last, it should be really epic……or really terrible.  Terribly epic seems like a good middle ground.

Follow gr33nazn on Twitter for more things that “She” said!


Cardinals fan since I could hold a fishing pole steady. Accidental blogger. Opinionated. I could care less about what you think of me. Constantly confounded, bemused, and confuzzled (ie I'm a pc and a mac). I'm an IT infrastructure analyst with a penchant for breaking tech toys. I ate a sabermetric primer for breakfast. I love playing "All-powerful GM of MLB". The 2010 Cardinals represented a good, practical definition "cognitive dissonance". The 2011 version got by on duct tape and a prayer, and I'm fine with that. They just need new tape for #12 in 12.
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