Pujols Inertia

by on December 6, 2011 · 0 comments

I vascillate frequently between important decisions.  Paper or plastic?  Boxers or briefs?  “Heads” Carolina, “Tails” California?  10 years in Miami with hideous uniforms and a top heavy roster for a couple hundred million….or 8-10 years in the same place I’ve already won 2 WS championships (also for a couple hundred million).

Oh, sorry.  I got all confused by the media-slide of information regarding Albert Pujols and “The Decision”.  Honestly, this situation doesn’t have quite the same stylings or panache that LeBron’s move did.  This is more like “The Derision”.

If you’ve been throwing bullpen sessions the past couple weeks, then feel free to cast the first stone.  I’m not doing it.  The free agency process isn’t about “character”, and it certainly isn’t about “what is right”.  It’s about evaluating the marketplace for your specific profession and determining what job you want, and that decision is a very personal one.  Unfortunately, it’s also a decision that will immediately be made public for all to scrutinize, and you most certainly can’t make everybody happy with it.  Nor should you.

Like it or not, Albert Pujols is the new car on the showroom floor, the puppy in the window, and the latest Louboutins at Neiman Marcus.  He’s on display for the entire world to see, and it seems that everybody and their uncle’s nephew has an opinion about where he is going, why he is going there, and why he is a jerk for making whatever choice he makes.  Really?

Are any of you so different?  If you didn’t have an agreement in place with your current employer to continue working past a certain date, what would you do?  Most of us would probably just agree to a new deal involving a minimal pay increase for a lot more work.  How would that change, if other companies were standing by and counting the days until 1 or more of them could bid for your services?  Put me in that position, and I’m headed to all the free lunches and schmoozing I can handle.  It’s not that I don’t like my employer; it’s just that I want what is the best for my family.

So what if that means hanging around with circumspect people (agents) and glorified con-artists (other agents)?  I’m going to at least politely listen to other offers until I feel the time is right to make a decision, especially if that decision determines where I will work and live for the next decade.  More importantly, I want to know that the combination of factors worth considering are aligned with my financial goals.

Let’s assume for a moment that all of the potential offers are more than generous and easily enough to keep me set for life.  That doesn’t really make the decision any easier for me.  It just means that I can’t simply eliminate 1 or 2 offers that aren’t enough to pad my nest properly.  Does that say anything at all about my character as a person?

Maybe.  Maybe it just indicates that I’m concerned about making the best decision, and I’m not the least bit concerned about what total strangers think.  Is that the worst thing in the world?

By all means, go ahead and prepare yourselves to be as mean and nasty as possible.  Just keep in mind that you probably aren’t all that different from Pujols, except for the amount of money involved, the questionable people with whom he associates, and the profession in question.  I still maintain that human inertia is at work here.  A person at rest tends to stay at rest.  It usually takes a tremendous offer to lure a worker bee from one employer to another.  It’s not that we don’t like the thought of making more money, it’s just that most of us aren’t really big int0 relocating, making new fake friends, and wearing ugly professional attire. 

If Albert decides to take the money and run, then I can’t blame him one bit.  He basically said all the right things and did all the right things while in St. Louis.  He can go do and say the same things elsewhere.  The only difference is that nobody will believe him. 

TIDBIT:  Regarding $$$:  If you aren’t enough without it, then you will never be enough with it. 

MORE BITS OF TID:  I feel it necessary to address a few of the rumors floating about regarding AP5.

  1. We don’t actually have a picture of him walking on water during his trip to Hawaii.
  2. Dan Lozano is not the Devil.  He’s not nearly good looking enough for that.  Al Pacino was much more convincing.
  3. Until Albert actually signs on the dotted line, the situation is always going to be “fluid”, “dynamic”, or “50/50”.  Sounds a lot like the way an engineer might describe regenerative braking, actually.
  4. Albert has not officially announced that he is buying MLB and making everybody work for him.  Pure speculation.
  5. Heard this: A potential contract with the Marlins is NOT contingent on the Marlins signing Billy Chapel, Tim Tebow, or Chris Bosh. 
  6. Albert isn’t a bad guy, he’s just drawn that way.
  7. Pujols will likely not declare that he is “taking his talents to South Beach, mang.”
  8. Albert Pujols most definitely did not appear on “The Sing Off” last night dressed as Shawn Stockman from Boyz II Men, and he most definitely did not sing “This Christmas” with NOTA.
  9. NASA has confirmed that the first transmission from the moon did not include the words “One small step for mang.  One giant leap for mangkind.”
  10. Albert Pujols is truly 31 years old.  We know this, because Octavio Dotel and Miguel Tejada told us so.  (No, not really.)
  11. Sources tell us that Albert will probably not play multiple positions at the same time in 2012, although working 50-60 innings in a setup role is possible.
  12. There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that Pujols will be starring in the next series of “Mayhem” commercials.  #Recalculating
  13. Team Pujols is NOT looking to secure a 15 year contract that would pay him up until he can start collecting Social Security benefits.  (Just kidding.  He’s at least 18 years away.)
  14. Nobody cares about your fantasy league team except for Albert.
  15. Albert Pujols will not be appearing in the next Indiana Jones film as “Pujols Jones”, the previously unknown half-brother to Indiana Jones.




Follow gr33nazn on Twitter for more references to “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Cardinals fan since I could hold a fishing pole steady. Accidental blogger. Opinionated. I could care less about what you think of me. Constantly confounded, bemused, and confuzzled (ie I'm a pc and a mac). I'm an IT infrastructure analyst with a penchant for breaking tech toys. I ate a sabermetric primer for breakfast. I love playing "All-powerful GM of MLB". The 2010 Cardinals represented a good, practical definition "cognitive dissonance". The 2011 version got by on duct tape and a prayer, and I'm fine with that. They just need new tape for #12 in 12.
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