If Fredi Gonzalez managed the Cardinals, and Tony La Russa the Braves…

by on September 28, 2011 · 9 comments

As we all prepare for tonight’s Cards versus Astros and Phillies versus Braves games that may determine the final playoff spot in the National League, I thought it appropriate to bring a little levity to a high-leverage situation.

It just so happens that Braves manager Fredi Gonzalez has some managerial tendencies that tweak that teams fans similarly to the relationship between us Cards fans and our own lovable scamp, Tony La Russa.

So what if the shoes were on the other feet? What if Fredi were managing the Cards and Tony the Braves? I could envision these scenarios:

Fredi’s Cards

  • Albert Pujols would inexplicably hit sixth or seventh in the lineup. A lot.
  • Jason Motte would pitch every ninth inning, regardless of game situation.
  • Jake Westbrook would have six or eight more starts.
  • More injuries. Not serious ones, mind you, just the type that will give you a day off here and there because the manager won’t.
  • BFF’s with Ryan Theriot. After all, it is what it is.

Tony’s Braves

  • Tommy Hanson would’ve come up in the bullpen. Then moved to the rotation. Then back to the ‘pen. Then rotation. Then bullpen. Repeat four times.
  • Julio Lugo would pinch hit in every game. In the sixth inning. Then stay in as a defensive replacement for Chipper Jones.
  • Craig Kimbrel would have sixty-two saves. But he wouldn’t be the closer.
  • Jason Heyward would be traded. The return would include Aaron Miles and Randy Winn.
  • George Sherrill would be brought in to walk at least one left-handed hitter per game.
  • Eric Hinske at second base, anyone?
  • There would be no fewer than four complaints about “that distracting apple” at Citi Field and the brightness of the liberty bell sign at Citizens Bank Park.

And bunts. Good gracious would there be bunts. Lots of bunts.

Got anything to add to these lists? Leave ’em in the comments below!

Enjoy the games tonight, Cards and Braves fans. This time it counts!

Writing about the Cardinals and other loosely associated topics since 2008, I've grown tired of the April run-out only to disappoint Cardinal fans everywhere by mid-May. I do not believe in surrendering free outs.
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WilliaminMaine September 28, 2011

Great stuff. Laughed a lot during the read. One thing to be sure, both managers would be fighting over Matt Diaz.

PH8 September 28, 2011

No doubt. And then whoever won would have him bunt.

Thanks for reading.

Bill September 28, 2011

I really enjoyed this. The line about Craig Kimbrel is great.

PH8 September 28, 2011

Thanks for reading, Bill.

BT September 28, 2011

I predicted the “Heyward gets traded” when I first read the title of the post! Hilarious. Well done.

PH8 September 28, 2011

Wouldn’t have been much of a list without it, eh?

Otter September 28, 2011

Don’t forget the bitter, under-the-table feud between Chipper and TLR, just because he’s an old veteran and TLR wants to use him in bizarre ways.

PH8 September 28, 2011

Yeah, like batting ninth behind the pitcher or something. 😉

Josh September 28, 2011

After seeing Miggy Batista reinvent himself today, I’m sure Fredi would have made him the replacement for Adam. Seriously though where did this line come from?

M. Batista New York Mets
9 IP, 2 H, 0 ER, 5 K, Win

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