If Fredi Gonzalez managed the Cardinals, and Tony La Russa the Braves…

by on September 28, 2011 · 9 comments

As we all prepare for tonight’s Cards versus Astros and Phillies versus Braves games that may determine the final playoff spot in the National League, I thought it appropriate to bring a little levity to a high-leverage situation.

It just so happens that Braves manager Fredi Gonzalez has some managerial tendencies that tweak that teams fans similarly to the relationship between us Cards fans and our own lovable scamp, Tony La Russa.

So what if the shoes were on the other feet? What if Fredi were managing the Cards and Tony the Braves? I could envision these scenarios:

Fredi’s Cards

  • Albert Pujols would inexplicably hit sixth or seventh in the lineup. A lot.
  • Jason Motte would pitch every ninth inning, regardless of game situation.
  • Jake Westbrook would have six or eight more starts.
  • More injuries. Not serious ones, mind you, just the type that will give you a day off here and there because the manager won’t.
  • BFF’s with Ryan Theriot. After all, it is what it is.

Tony’s Braves

  • Tommy Hanson would’ve come up in the bullpen. Then moved to the rotation. Then back to the ‘pen. Then rotation. Then bullpen. Repeat four times.
  • Julio Lugo would pinch hit in every game. In the sixth inning. Then stay in as a defensive replacement for Chipper Jones.
  • Craig Kimbrel would have sixty-two saves. But he wouldn’t be the closer.
  • Jason Heyward would be traded. The return would include Aaron Miles and Randy Winn.
  • George Sherrill would be brought in to walk at least one left-handed hitter per game.
  • Eric Hinske at second base, anyone?
  • There would be no fewer than four complaints about “that distracting apple” at Citi Field and the brightness of the liberty bell sign at Citizens Bank Park.

And bunts. Good gracious would there be bunts. Lots of bunts.

Got anything to add to these lists? Leave ’em in the comments below!

Enjoy the games tonight, Cards and Braves fans. This time it counts!

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Writing about the Cardinals and other loosely associated topics since 2008, I've grown tired of the April run-out only to disappoint Cardinal fans everywhere by mid-May. I do not believe in surrendering free outs.
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