The people or things responsible for the Cardinals missing the playoffs

Let’s just dispense with the pleasantries and list them all here, shall we?

This way, Cards fans have a repository to come back to game after game, without having to continue to come up with new reasons for a lost season.

In no particular order:

1. Moths
2. Ryan Franklin
3. Takashi Saito
4. Rob Drake
5. Tony Rasmus
6. Dan Lozano
7. Corey Patterson
8. Shelby Miller’s Fists of Fury
9. The frog in Al Hrabosky’s throat
10. Matt Holliday’s (former) appendix
11. Albert Pujols
12. Colby Rasmus
13. Alex Anthopoulos’ dreamy bedroom eyes
14. Miguel Batista
15. Mitchell Boggs
16. Fernando Salas
17. Corey Patterson
18. The offense
19. The bullpen
20. The starting rotation
21. Defense
22. The roster
23. John Mozeliak
24. Adam Wainwright’s (former) elbow ligament
25. Miller Park
26. Corey Patterson
27. Milo Hamilton
28. Arthur Rhodes
29. Brandon Phillips
30. Bloggers
31. Ryan Theriot
32. Tyler Greene
33. Tony La Russa
34. Brendan Ryan
35. Jake Westbrook
36. Corey Patterson
37. Jaime Garcia (but only on the road)
38. The fact that Pete Kozma was on a big league roster
39. Lighted ribbon boards
40. Marty Brennaman
41. Keith Law
42. Bill DeWitt
43. Ballpark Village
44. Rafael Furcal
45. Shingles
46. Corey Patterson
47. Mark McGwire
48. Brian Tallet’s facial hair
49. Sock/stirrup/long pants inconsistency
50. That gosh-danged Aaron Miles
51. Rust at Busch Stadium (on the building and the field)
52. Bud Selig
53. Payroll
54. Heath Bell
55. Jon Jay, full-time starting outfielder
56. Day games after night games
57. Sabermetrics
58. Pitches up and in
59. Corey Patterson

Whew! I think I’ve covered most of them.

Anything missing? Post ’em in the comments below or find me on Twitter @PitchersHit8th.

Writing about the Cardinals and other loosely associated topics since 2008, I've grown tired of the April run-out only to disappoint Cardinal fans everywhere by mid-May. I do not believe in surrendering free outs.

Nick

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