Opening Day Survival Guide

by on March 31, 2011 · 5 comments

Opening day for the Cardinals is upon us, and you are running low on time to prepare yourself for what should be at least a local holiday some parts of the US.  It’s not, but that’s another matter.  In order to help you get through the day unscathed, I’ve prepared a survival guide to make sure you leave no stone unturned and no toilet seat lid down.

  1. I took the liberty of writing a lengthy post on baseball etiquette back in February.  Click here for a refresher.  Pay special attention to the part about not drinking and driving. 
  2. Remember to set your fantasy baseball lineups.  Make a list and check it twice.  Remember that Johan Santana is injured, and it’s never a good idea to play Jason Isringhausen…..ever.
  3. If you plan to attend opening day at Busch Stadium, then plan on arriving early.  Inbound travel time can vary from between 30 minutes and 6 hours for the final 5 mile approach into the stadium after noon on Thursday. 
  4. Bring your own sporks.  There’s often a shortage in St. Louis for some reason.  Don’t leave home without one.
  5. If you own an iPhone or Android device, please download any and all apps that allow your to access the PH8 site.  The United Cardinal Bloggers, Baseball Bloggers Alliance, and StlBaseball apps will all suffice.  I highly recommend downloading them all.  Also, convince everyone you know to download them all as well.  Better yet, just “borrow” their iPhones, iPads, and Android devices long enough to download the apps for them.  They are FREE! 
  6. Please feel free to go to Facebook and join the group PH8
  7. While you are there, please “Like” the PH8 page on Facebook.  Yeah, it’s confusing.  No, I don’t understand why there is both a “group” and a “page”.
  8. Dress as though you are going to be attending an outdoor concert in Nome, Alaska in November.  Wear layers.  If you don’t have enough layers, use your lightsaber to slay a large alien beast and use its body heat to keep you warm overnight.  Yeah, that’s really gross, but it worked in a movie, so it must work in real life, too.
  9. Tip your vendor at the ballpark graciously.  You think you’ve been waiting for baseball to return to Busch?  How do you think the concession workers have been feeling?  If you can afford $17 for a beer, then you can afford more than $.25 for a tip.  Don’t be a jackhole.
  10. Pace yourself.  Don’t use up all your best snark in the first day.  Also, don’t spend the whole game tweeting about watching the game.  If you do that, then we know that you aren’t watching the game.  Seriously.  Watch the game. 
  11. Don’t say a word about your stupid cholesterol while you are packing away that 4th hot dog along with your fully loaded nachos with fake cheese.  Nobody cares.  You are at a baseball game and not your cardiologists office.  If you happen to be attending with your cardiologist, then you have chosen poorly. 
  12. Stop for a moment and enjoy the sights and sounds.  You are a very lucky person to be in attendance at Busch Stadium on opening day.  Thousands of members of Cardinal Nation would skip a close relative’s wedding to be where you are.  Enjoy.
  13. Remember Ernie Hays.  He’s not playing the organ anymore, but it’s hard to think of “Here Comes The King” without thinking of Ernie.   I’d like to see the Cardinals honor him.  Other people have ideas of how to do that.  My suggestion is that they wheel him out on the wagon being pulled by the Clydesdales.  Why not?  Slow and easy ride around the park.  A victory lap while the song he played so many times is being played.  Wouldn’t that be poetic justice for the man?
  14. Take pictures.  Don’t just rely on your cell phone, either.  Take a real camera.  Thank me later.
  15. Don’t leave the ballpark in a hurry after the game.  You won’t get anywhere, and there is no reason to rush.  Let the fender benders occur, and then you can go.  You’ve been waiting all winter for this.  What’s your rush?

TIDBIT:  You may also try to win some free PH8 stuff.  Check my post about PH8 swag for details.

Like it?  All geared up and ready to go?  Follow gr33nazn on Twitter for a chance to win FREE stuff, if you are in attendance for opening day!

Cardinals fan since I could hold a fishing pole steady. Accidental blogger. Opinionated. I could care less about what you think of me. Constantly confounded, bemused, and confuzzled (ie I'm a pc and a mac). I'm an IT infrastructure analyst with a penchant for breaking tech toys. I ate a sabermetric primer for breakfast. I love playing "All-powerful GM of MLB". The 2010 Cardinals represented a good, practical definition "cognitive dissonance". The 2011 version got by on duct tape and a prayer, and I'm fine with that. They just need new tape for #12 in 12.
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Leffty March 31, 2011

Here’s our coverage of opening day and the 2011 season:

There’s a bunch of coverage of Prince Albert and his contract situation–specifically, how the Cards should handle Albert this year

PH8 April 1, 2011

Which is what, exactly? Let him hit and play the field? Not much else they can do to “handle” him this year, right?

Dennis April 1, 2011

Nobody puts Albert in a corner.

Craig F. March 31, 2011

I think you forgot to add…

Note to Ryan Franklin.. any similarities to Izzy will get you hated long time by the Cardinal Nation!

PH8 April 1, 2011

Jackhole is < or > Jackwagon?

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