It won’t be long before we get the first wave of nonsense from stat-crazed dunces claiming there’s nothing to be learned from a batting average, won-loss record or RBI total. Listen, just go back to bed, OK? Strip down to those fourth-day undies, head downstairs (to “your mother’s basement and your mother’s computer,” as Chipper Jones so aptly describes it) and churn out some more crap. For more than a century, .220 meant something. So did .278, .301, .350, an 18-4 record, or 118 RBIs. Now it all means nothing because a bunch of nonathletes are trying to reinvent the game?
- Wake up, drink coffee, eat breakfast
- See kid off to school
- Quality time with dogs
- Write blog that greatly exceeds anything Bruce authors all week in terms of originality and humor but is on par with average blog produced by BBA and UCB members
- Work with kid on homework
- Violate BYU’s honor code
That’s pretty much the basics of it. Now about that .220 average. It’s familiar to me for some reason. Maybe that’s because it’s approximately Bruce’s average as of late. Step up your game, man. You’re barely above the Mendoza line, although I’m not sure what Mendoza did in terms of OPS+.
Remember that old proverb about people in glass houses. Perhaps someone should remind Brucy boy about it, before he starts flinging rocks (or baseballs). Of course, it might not matter. He probably can’t touch 45 on the speed gun, while some of us nonathletes can probably still bring the heat around 70+. That’s just the way it works. Those that can’t do, teach (or coach). Those who can’t coach, well they apparently write nonsensical and insulting articles meant to collect pageviews for the SF Chronicle. Well done.
TIDBIT: I’ll give you some alternatives to Bruce’s Bay Area Botches right here, so here’s a shoutout to some other options for you.
- McCovey Chronicles – It’s an SB Nation site, so the quality is right there without a loss of snark.
- Splashing Pumpkins – My personal favorite – maybe because they offer the same kind of mix that we offer at PH8.
MORE BITS OF TID: If anybody knows Bruce personally and wants him to have a copy, I’ll be glad to make some papyrus and grind one out later this month.
Like it? Wonder why Jenkins is so fascinated with everybody else’s mom (and her basement)? Follow gr33nazn on Twitter, and we’ll ask about this together!