John Mozeliak’s best Rod Blagojevich impersonation

by on December 10, 2010 · 0 comments

Don’t let the title run you off just yet, I promise I’m going to make sense of it.

I’m going to piggy-back a bit on what Dennis wrote this morning, because either we were reading the same things yesterday or great minds just think alike.

Now, I know I’ve been a bit scarce in this medium of late, but I’ve made no secret about my opinion on who should be the Cardinals’ 2011 shortstop on Twitter and in conversations with others.  It’s not that I think Ryan Theriot is an awful option at shortstop, it’s that Brendan Ryan is superior, in my opinion.  Moreover, I think a Theriot at 2B and Ryan at SS is far superior to a Skip Schumaker / Theriot middle infield.

Reading Derrick Goold’s piece about the Cards wrapping up the Winter Meetings yesterday, this portion in particular stuck out to me:

The Padres attempted to deal for Ryan, but couldn’t come to an agreement on the return to the Cardinals.

It struck me because while I realize that there are any number of reasons why a trade wouldn’t or couldn’t be worked out – I want to believe it’s because the Cardinals realize that Ryan is valuable to the team, and might be setting a high bar – perhaps too high? – for return in trade.


And that’s when a scene popped into my head that I just had to share.  Picture John Mozeliak, at his desk, with a huge pile of hair on his head, a la Rod Blagojevich.  Mo is on the phone with someone, say John Abbamondi for the story’s sake.  And Mo says:

“I’ve got this thing and it’s [EXPLETIVE] golden, and, uh, uh, I’m just not giving it up for [EXPLETIVE] nothing. I’m not gonna do it. And, and I can always use it.”

YES!  Let’s break it down.

I’ve got this thing and it’s [EXPLETIVE] golden

Golden, as in the glove Brendan Ryan could win playing shortstop in 2011?!?!

and, uh, uh, I’m just not giving it up for [EXPLETIVE] nothing.

That’s right, when you’re trading a commodity such as one of the better defensive shortstops in the league, the return should be significant!

I’m not gonna do it. And, and I can always use it.

Damn right – Ryan can still win that shortstop job.  Or be a super-utility guy for the manager.  But don’t just give him away!

As you can see, I’m still holding out hope for Brendo to win the shortstop job in camp – we have all seen sillier things happen before when something else entirely was stated by the team.  Remember when Jaime Garcia was “not a part of the competition for a starting rotation spot” last spring?

Mozeliak’s response when general managers come calling wanting to trade for Brendan Ryan on the cheap should be the same as Blago’s when Obama wanted to name the new senator:

“[EXPLETIVE] him. For nothing? [EXPLETIVE] him.”

[EXPLETIVE] right.


Follow PH8 on [EXPLETIVE] Twitter for more censored opinions about the Cardinals.  (But probably not many more Blago mashups.)

Writing about the Cardinals and other loosely associated topics since 2008, I've grown tired of the April run-out only to disappoint Cardinal fans everywhere by mid-May. I do not believe in surrendering free outs.
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