Top Ten Reasons the Season is Over

by on April 15, 2009 · 6 comments

In light of Cardinal fans’ most recent Chicken Little moment, I present to you (in no particular order) the Top Ten Reasons that the Cardinals’ 2009 season is already over, only nine games in.  Please note:  *tongue firmly in cheek*.

  1. Because Ryan Ludwick is still on the bench.
  2. Because Yadier Molina has that silly yellow hair.
  3. Because Dennys Reyes ate the rest of the season.
  4. Because Josh Kinney has given up a walk in each appearance.
  5. Because Chris Carpenter is headed to the disabled list.  Again.
  6. Because Tony LaRussa’s sunglasses have gotten so dark, he can’t read his lineup card anymore.
  7. Because Skip Schumaker is a failure at second base.
  8. Because Rick Ankiel still can’t lay off of that damned slider away.
  9. Because Somali pirates have captured Albert Pujols.
  10. Because this season’s bullpen is on a mission to prove they can be worse than 2008′s bullpen.

Sorry, I had to get that off of my chest.

Yes, I’m disappointed that another game slipped away.  Yes, I’m fearful of what the next few weeks (hopefully, at the most) hold in store for Carpenter.  And yes, I was just as surprised as the rest of you that Brendan Ryan “was our best option/matchup” in the ninth inning last night.

But seriously, CHILL OUT.

Has the STLToday.com Cards Talk forum imploded yet?

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Writing about the Cardinals and other loosely associated topics since 2008, I've grown tired of the April run-out only to disappoint Cardinal fans everywhere by mid-May. I do not believe in surrendering free outs.
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{ 6 comments }

Cardinal70 April 15, 2009

Probably. I imagine there’s a lot of towels on the floor over there.

You know, in re #6, I noticed last night TLR had normal, lightly-tinted sunglasses on. I don’t remember the last time you could see his eyes.

And have you seen AP’s record against the Pirates? The Navy SEALS didn’t shoot them, Albert hit three line drives and killed them.

PHE April 15, 2009

Nope, didn’t pay attention to Tony’s specs last night. Good for him, maybe he got LASIK or something.

Heh, Albert is a machine. Sorry, THE Machine.

Mark April 15, 2009

Came home from playing basketball last night really excited to watch Carp’s second start. Immediately I see the score and I was pumped (not cause I’m a Cards fan, but you know the fantasy team).

Anyway I put on MLB TV and the first thing I see is the trainer talking to him. My sympathy is with you.

PHE April 15, 2009

I was the same way – missed the first four innings or so.

Saw the score, was pretty stoked.

Checked the box and saw that Carp was gone and my stomach sank.

Sarah-bug April 16, 2009

But enough about Carp, when is that hair going to grow out?

PHE April 16, 2009

Be careful what you wish for the way Yadi’s swingin’ the bat!

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